50 things to do before you are 50 

So how many have you done?1. Buy a house

2. Have kids

3. Get married

4. Fall in love

5. Eat fish and chips on the pier

6. Donate blood

7. Read 100 books

8. See your favourite musician/band live

9. Learn a language

10. Attend a music festival

11. Own a dog

12. Learn to say no to your mother

13. Stay out all night partying

14. See the Northern Lights

15. Visit Stonehenge

16. Be able to remember which side of your car the petrol cap is on

17. Travel somewhere alone

18. Sleep underneath the stars

19. Watch a meteor shower

20. Dance in the rain

21. Become an expert at something

22. Quit a job

23. See a volcano

24. Visit all seven continents

25. Throw a coin in the Trevi fountain

26. Take a helicopter ride

27. Have sex on a beach

28. Swim with dolphins

29. Go skinny dipping

30. Ride a gondola in Venice

31. Make a snow angel

32. Take part in a protest

33. Own your own business

34. Go in a hot air balloon

35. Ride an elephant

36. Climb Snowdonia

37. Jump into a pool fully clothed

38. Backpack across Europe

39. Perfect a signature dish

40. Drink beer at Oktoberfest

41. Run a marathon

42. Get a tattoo

43. Ride a Vespa

44. Watch comedy at Edinburgh Fringe

45. Write a novel

46. Write a journal

47. Spend a month technology free

48. Try drugs

49. Have a threesome

50. Go to an airport and pick a random flight



mid 40’s …

Am I talking about how hot it is ? … I wish … I wish it summer !

couldn’t you just do with some sun ?


but sadly it’s not really spring here yet .. the buds are started to open lightly but its not really hot … perhaps today’s sun will be warm enough to sit out today … but its also easter (wont even mention how sad it is that once upon a time it meant so much & now its just a few days off work .. but thats totally my choice and i prefer it … love working christmas but spring/easter feels like getting ready for the summer … have cleaned out all the rubbish tipped into my summer house … and its all ready for me to go on my sofa in their and chill .. often not with a good book)  we have also got the start of the new financial which is also always on my birthday ..

well i guess it is just another birthday …  BUT it’s important to note that in five years time i will reach the big five-oh … what do i want to be doing then ? … driving my own little car going to work and having some kind of social life such as meeting the girls & going to classes at the gym & the like … the only thing that stops me doing all that is  down to one thing  .. ME !!

belief in me

this above quote i totally think is awesome .. sadly my chidhood fells like it was just about controlling me ..

i was thinking how when i was trying to be a teenager from a religious family growing up my first rebelling was to smoking … did i really put my health on the line to naff my parents off ? .. i can see it with teenagers now … how they think its ok to let wind go …

Just watching an episode of Benidorm where an old couple were talking about why they both hadn’t gone through with their holiday/wife swap … Does everything we do when are older depend on someone else ? Surely it’s better to be young and free or even just free ? i was brought up to be good so i would find a nice husband with a good job … what on earth ??

plus the things i got told about me – how ugly i was .. with my hair like that .. ridiculing me in front of friends & people at church  was not good for a sensitive child who would pray every night in bed that god please forgive me and i will try better tomorrow .. tomorrow i still got told off ..

but all that needs to have a love drawn under it

i can bhappi now

i can start to believe in me

i can decide what confidence i need

i can go out and find a life


i can 

 free to chose …

free to be …

free to feel  …

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.”
Jules Renard,


i would love to believe that life can be like a giant jar of sweets … we can chose to take one out & savour it

learn form our experiences and accept the lessons to become the person we want to be !

a friend did angel card reading for me over the internet this week

and the line that stuck with me was

not making a choice was keeping everything the same

i don’t want the same 

i want a life !!

sod what age i am !!