please read the link

we don’t know what’s going to happen … but we have to keep moving forward with what we have & let the universe do her stuff 


a new face…

he was too young to be giving the eye, actually pretty damn hot he was, though surely after finishing work, crossing the road it wasnt him. but, it was, sat in the large window of the takeout, obviously waiting for his meal which was joining in with the blueray and box of beers, that he’d bought through her checkout. she blushed, not only were her arms and leg now out of syn, she felt like she was stumbling not sure whether to keep going or just look directly at him. she knew he was watching her, she could feel herself redden … 

my predictions for 2016 … 10STEPS

  • a great feeling
  • a greaf sense of self worth
  • knowing that i can & will actually do the work  
  1. do training plan properly means something everyday ! be it 10 squats every pee to actually doing a full yoga session properly which means i do get to fit in my jeans well !
  2. eat clean 80% of the time but also have a treat if been good on a sat night
  3. do my 10km runs on a tuesday well 
  4. wear makeup & do my hair enough times to look better
  5. have a nice tidy ‘n clean house all the time
  6. do enough reading both fiction & those that help me better myself
  7. all my bills debts & shopping monies all in good working order with plenty for spare
  8. a lovely holiday just what we all needed
  9. plenty of days out experiences trips to the beach including walking up my fave hill for a sunset view of the sea and other things to do on sundays which is a day off not just for cleaning !
  10. enough friends to talk to and perhaps that one special person that makes an effort

perhaps overthinking And imagining doesnt alter the furure … so whats the pointnif worrying about whar if’s? … but what happens if the energy we do put out does infact alter things ? … surely its better to be all grear positive happi thoughts ? 
namestè ~x~
ps bhappi … remember it’s a choice !

I always wanted to go to … 

India …  

 Because it sounded exotic … But then I watched   

doesn’t seem at nice advert all the dirt & bustle 

Also I wanted to go to 


Because of the jungle (adversity of people) and beaches  in tenko


But after seeing the jungle in TV in real life seems too scary 

After childhood visitors from Australia & my love of sullivans  

Actually does anyone know what happened to kitty?? She was my fave ! 

And the many many TV & books etc I still want to … Actually my fave film  


Was set both Malaysia & Australia .. 

Make me wonder where in the world would ‘I would love to go there’ …

 In actually based on what we have seen or read ?

 Take rural France  


looks fab from my collection of French films I used to have  

 (naughty or funny) 

Even my current love for Turkey is based on one or two holiday pictures ..   

Even though when I watched this  


I swore I wouldn’t go lol
So my new love of  


Outlander makes me want to go to Scotland  


But guess what ! … I have already been there! Yes to that castle and yes I love Scotland ! 

New wish list: family holiday in lanzorote  


Romantic trip to Scotland away from everyone ! 

Trip to Turkey without kids !  


Sounds like a plan !  


You can’t have a dream come true … Without imagining it first !

mid 40’s …

Am I talking about how hot it is ? … I wish … I wish it summer !

couldn’t you just do with some sun ?


but sadly it’s not really spring here yet .. the buds are started to open lightly but its not really hot … perhaps today’s sun will be warm enough to sit out today … but its also easter (wont even mention how sad it is that once upon a time it meant so much & now its just a few days off work .. but thats totally my choice and i prefer it … love working christmas but spring/easter feels like getting ready for the summer … have cleaned out all the rubbish tipped into my summer house … and its all ready for me to go on my sofa in their and chill .. often not with a good book)  we have also got the start of the new financial which is also always on my birthday ..

well i guess it is just another birthday …  BUT it’s important to note that in five years time i will reach the big five-oh … what do i want to be doing then ? … driving my own little car going to work and having some kind of social life such as meeting the girls & going to classes at the gym & the like … the only thing that stops me doing all that is  down to one thing  .. ME !!

belief in me

this above quote i totally think is awesome .. sadly my chidhood fells like it was just about controlling me ..

i was thinking how when i was trying to be a teenager from a religious family growing up my first rebelling was to smoking … did i really put my health on the line to naff my parents off ? .. i can see it with teenagers now … how they think its ok to let wind go …

Just watching an episode of Benidorm where an old couple were talking about why they both hadn’t gone through with their holiday/wife swap … Does everything we do when are older depend on someone else ? Surely it’s better to be young and free or even just free ? i was brought up to be good so i would find a nice husband with a good job … what on earth ??

plus the things i got told about me – how ugly i was .. with my hair like that .. ridiculing me in front of friends & people at church  was not good for a sensitive child who would pray every night in bed that god please forgive me and i will try better tomorrow .. tomorrow i still got told off ..

but all that needs to have a love drawn under it

i can bhappi now

i can start to believe in me

i can decide what confidence i need

i can go out and find a life


i can 

 free to chose …

free to be …

free to feel  …

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.”
Jules Renard,


i would love to believe that life can be like a giant jar of sweets … we can chose to take one out & savour it

learn form our experiences and accept the lessons to become the person we want to be !

a friend did angel card reading for me over the internet this week

and the line that stuck with me was

not making a choice was keeping everything the same

i don’t want the same 

i want a life !!

sod what age i am !!


More books 

Net galley ARC’s for a review .. I have to post for the lie by c.l. Taylor   


An enjoyable rollercoaster of a suspense novel with multiple twists.’ Daily Mail

‘This dark and creepy book is a must read.’ The Sun

‘A thrilling crime debut’ Woman Magazine

“An ominous atmosphere, a tense tale of past and present colliding, and a narrator whom no-one believes: this book is a delight.” Alex Marwood

‘Utterly compelling. I could not put this gripping, heart-stopping page-turner down’ Rowan Coleman

‘Twisty, dark and utterly compelling’ Lucy Diamond

‘I was gripped from start to finish. Everyone should read this book!’ Lucy Robinson

‘This fast, twisty psychological thriller has suspense on every page!’ Paula Daly

Well I just thought it was going to be a here-here 2nd book … But I was Soooo Wrong ! 

‘Gripping and terrifying’ Julie Cohen

‘One of the best books I’ve read in ages – the tension never lets up until the final pages. Page-turning suspense ratcheted up with every new scene. Sub-plots woven in effortlessly. Brilliant – my heart was racing as I drew nearer and nearer to the ending.‘ Mel Sherratt

Product Description

This was no accident…

Haunting, compelling, this psychological thriller will have you hooked. Perfect for fans of Gone Girl and Daughter.

I know your name’s not really Jane Hughes . . .

Jane Hughes has a loving partner, a job in an animal sanctuary and a tiny cottage in rural Wales. She’s happier than she’s ever been but her life is a lie. Jane Hughes does not really exist.

Five years earlier Jane and her then best friends went on holiday but what should have been the trip of a lifetime rapidly descended into a nightmare that claimed the lives of two of the women.

Jane has tried to put the past behind her but someone knows the truth about what happened. Someone who won’t stop until they’ve destroyed Jane and everything she loves . . .

and Australian secrets by Fiona McCollum  


Some secrets need to be told…

Current affairs reporter Nicola Harvey has everything – she’s part of Australian television’s A-list, has a wealthy, successful fiancé and a classy apartment in Adelaide. But appearances are deceiving and Nicola’s sensing a problem. So, when her boss sends her on an extended research trip, she’s happy to get away for some country-style relaxation. 

When Nicola arrives in the little town of Nowhere Else, nothing is as she expected: there’s no spa and all the locals are tight-lipped except the handsome stranger from the plane, who’s keen to entertain her! 

The deeper Nicola digs for a story, the more time she spends with rugged Alex and she realises coming here wasn’t a mistake. In fact, Alex may just unlock the mystery of her past. And hold the key to her future happiness…

You could taste & smell the place … I Sooo wanna go ! 

  • Nice entertainment. The vivid Australian setting was great.

… But just doing this update on my phone & although it may editing later